I’m Off to See the Wizard

I had intended to write several humorous blogs concerning  my preparations for a visit to Fancy Nancy’s; however, I was stricken down with some ungodly flu/cold bug last week and have been on several medications which have so fuzzed my brain that I have done well to manage only basic cognitive skills like brush my teeth and wash my face.  Frankly, at this point I’m just hoping I packed clean undies.

The one good thing about being under the weather is that I totally lost my appetite which helped me finish losing the 20 lbs I was hoping to shed before heading to Dallas.  You see Fancy Nancy has been dieting and is looking quite svelte these days.  Soooo, I knew I couldn’t waddle up to her door step carrying all this extra weight and having people ask her who the little fat chick was who came to visit.  The real motivator came when Fancy Nancy declared that she was shopping for jeans.  Now the Lord knows I love her but it has been awhile since either of us went out in public wearing such derriere enhancing apparel.

When I got on the scale Monday and realized I had actually shed a number of fat cells I decided to do the unthinkable and ……eeeeeks…..dare I say it…..shop for jeans.  The first thing I did was do an on-line search for jeans that slim an hour glass figure.  Armed with the names of several designers I bravely embarked on the treacherous journey.  Now, I did have certain criteria….number one, they couldn’t cost a fortune and number two they had to be comfortable.  To my surprise I found what I wanted in a Levi 512 straight leg jean.  They actually have a bit of spandex and a tummy control front panel.  I couldn’t believe that the first pair I tried on looked rather cute.  Now I wouldn’t say that I look great but I do look “not bad” in them.  I fly out tomorrow for Dallas and I’m taking my new jeans with me.  And as I go I issue this challenge to Fancy Nancy, “Joanie Baloney’s comin’ to town and she’s got herself some boot stompin’ jeans so get your groove on girl and pour your skinny buns into some gravity defyin’ denim!”  Heee Haw!!!

Hey, I can actually breathe and bend over at the same time!

I’m not taking my computer to Dallas because it’s just too much of a hassle getting it through security so you won’t hear from me until my return in ten days.  Stay tuned for exciting photos and stories about all our Dallas Sisters.  See ya soon y’all.

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2 Responses to I’m Off to See the Wizard

  1. Fancy Nancy says:

    Now that is a laugh out loud piece if I ever read one. OK, so I did find some jeans … ‘not your Mother’s Jeans’ is the brand but I must admit I don’t think my Mother (Helen) has ever worn jeans in her entire life, so that brand name doesn’t work for me … but the jeans do fit. The Dallas Sisters are all excited to see you … and your new jeans!!!!!

  2. Mama Baer says:

    Good for you Joan – as I read your post I was thinking that there was no way you could go to TX without having jeans. Isn’t it a law down there? Have a great trip. Ken & Krista leave for Japan tomorrow –we are heading north in morning to have breakfast with them before they head for Sea-Tac airport. Living in Japan should be quite an adventure!

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